


May 24, 2017

by westflash



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Dark Barry Allen, Despair, F/M, Heavy Angst, POV Barry Allen, Poetry, Sadness, Stream of Consciousness, excuse me i have no idea how to write poetry but enjoy the feelings, from barry's pov, poetry is a good medium for despair and numbness so here ya go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-24 21:15:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10749960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westflash/pseuds/westflash
Summary: From Barry's point of view, a semi-stream of consciousness the night after Savitar kills Iris. Based on episode 3x19 edit: and looking back on it, also loosely based on "If I Can't Love Her" from Beauty and the Beast)





	May 24, 2017

**Author's Note:**

> Keep in mind that I've written like two poems in my life so keep an open mind. And, like I said, enjoy the feelings.

I’m numb.  
I feel nothing and everything at the same time.  
I’m numb.  
Regret. Pain. Hopelessness.  
I’m numb.  
Uselessness. Emptiness. Disappearance.  
I’m numb.  
Nothing.  
Everything.  
Finality. Gone.  
She’s gone. 

She will live on in our hearts, they tell us.  
She will never truly die if we don’t let her, they tell us. 

But do they also tell us  
That it’s okay that you failed,  
That you couldn’t save her?  
No, they don’t.  
Because it’s not, and it never will be. 

It’s a day later  
And I’m still stuck on those stairs  
Watching the life drain out of her incredible soul,  
Once so joyful, once so inspiring, once so uplifting.  
How can the world go on without her here?  
It won’t, that’s the honest truth.  
The chill-inducing truth  
The bone-shattering truth  
That she’s gone  
And no one can do anything about it.  
Not even me,  
Who has jumped worlds and crossed timelines  
To make it back to this woman  
In whom I have invested so much love,  
And who has made me stronger than steel  
And more alive than a rushing current  
And more hopeful than I could ever be. 

Without her, will I be any of these?  
Will I be strong?  
She would want me to be strong.  
Will I feel alive?  
She would tell me I can feel alive.  
Will I ever experience hope again?  
She would look at me with those entrancing brown eyes,  
And tell me that happiness is right around the corner. 

The truth  
The chill-inducing truth  
The bone-shattering truth  
Is that I can’t be strong without her.  
I don’t feel alive without her.  
And I have no hope without her. 

I’m numb.  
I don’t feel nothing.  
I feel everything.  
She was everything,  
And she will never leave me.  
And I will never leave her.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't be mean in the comments - if you're going to criticize, be helpful, not cruel. 
> 
> Side note - I may be updating my Seeing Clearly fic soon so if you were invested in that I'm sorry for taking so long and I hope to write another chapter soon.


End file.
